I Don’t Hate You And I Won’t.

AyaShehata85

Hate is such a strong word.
Sometimes I don’t think we realise the weight of it or what it means, how it detaches us from the people around us or how we become disconnected and afraid.

When we say we hate something or someone we say it with such fierceness, such boldness, such resentment and emotion.

We are so willing to pull ourselves from things that used to matter to us and used to mean something.

We are so quick to close off.
We are so prone to looking at the negative.
And sometimes we get so wrapped up in being angry that we lose ourselves.

Hate is such a strong word.
It is too strong of a word.

To hate is to treat that person with spite, to fill your heart with sourness, to live a life that is bitter and angry.

And with you I can’t do that.

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I’m Grateful To All Survivors.

AyaShehata85

In the realm of the unseen it is a fact that one can’t continue to do the undesirable things in life towards people and remain a positive universal force in society.

What you dish out so shall you be served.

I would like to express my gratitude in regards to all the truth and fact finding given to me by others in a time of need.

One of the greatest gifts I have received is knowing that no one knows it all.

I was humbled by each and every point of view and the reality of the effects of life be it good or difficult from the ills of human behaviour.

It is a powerful positive flow of goodness given as we fill the void of what we need due to the loss while dealing with people that never really gave themselves a chance in life to be whole and…

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How Do Narcissists Self Sabotage?

AyaShehata85

Narcissists like to control those around them to the point of singling out those who tend to think independently.

It’s also part of the thrill of The Narcissist to harm others psychologically by means of creating a reality about their target.

Narcissists get so hung up on power and control that they don’t know when to stop.

Their intended victim could be gaining too much ground of their own which puts The Narcissist in an overdrive.

They become so consumed with being above others and they see themselves as so overly popular that they forget some of their own lies.

They always behave as if their fences don’t stink and they forget to clean up.

This is when they get stupid and sloppy.
Unfortunately for those helping The Narcissist in their evil endeavour are just usable things and often thrown under the bus by The Narcissist.

This is when the…

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This Isn’t A Normal Withdrawal ..

Accurate description

AyaShehata85

Narcissistic Abuse is extensive and affects all areas of your life, self esteem, mental health, decision making, trust, fear and trauma based fear that will remain for sometime.

Trauma is a frozen energy in your body that needs to be released.

At the beginning of the healing process expect to experience a lot of cognitive dissonance and mental confusion around having been lied to and betrayed.

Your experience has been confusing due to not being able to align it with reality.

Everything will feel unhinged and upside down ,, that’s normal.

With time you will begin to realise that you were with someone who didn’t care about you and was only using you for Narcissistic Supply.

Once The Narcissist gets bored he will replace you.

You have to know that The Narcissist behaviour is not about you ,, it’s all about him.

Don’t try to get answers from him because…

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I Lost Myself To A Merciless Predator ,, I Lost Myself To You SY ..

What a talent.

AyaShehata85

Have you ever loved a man so strongly, immensely and naively that you thought you were so lucky to find your happily everafter? ,,, I did.

Has it ever happened to you that you loved the wrong man and strongly believed that he is the right one?,,, It did to me.

I never saw Evil because I used to find it so difficult to believe that Evil people actually exist.

I couldn’t imagine anyone to be deceiving with no conscience, to hurt with no remorse, to spin outrageous fabrications to ruin someone’s reputation or pretend he is spiritually committed yet has no fear of God before his eyes.

Life would be easy if the Devil came as he is often portrayed with horns and a pitchfork.

But when the Devil came to me he was cloaked in beauty and in sheeps clothing.

After him things kept slipping through…

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A letter to the Man who broke my heart (SY).

Wow

AyaShehata85

Dear SY,

Words are beautiful to produce so I allow my fingers to move about in a rhythmic and rather therapeutic manner.

These movements then deliver my thoughts and emotions into the minds of human beings who cannot be reached by the sound of my voice.

I think it’s time for me to start understanding that you are now just one of those people. So here are a few words to the man I no longer know and not sure if I ever did.

Let me explain to you what it feels like to be told you are perfect in every way and will always be taken care of.

Let me convey the emotions that rip through a young woman like myself when she is convinced she is someone’s blessings.

Let me express the hope and loyalty that is instilled inside of a girl who built up wall after wall…

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